10 Saturday One-Liners


Shevat 15, 5777

February 11, 2017

 

Chag Sameah for Tu B’Shevat!

1. A knife-armed Palestinian terrorist was captured at “the Bakery” checkpoint in Hevron this afternoon at 4:30 pm.

2. One of the most expensive cars in Israel, a Ferrari 488 GTB–which sells for 2.3 million shekels–“found itself” down a grassy ravine this morning after its driver flew off the road (was he looking for fruits and nuts for the holiday?):

ferrari

3. Israel has permanently closed its embassies in New Zealand and Senegal following those countries’ votes in the Security Council last December.

4. Another “Day of Rage” in Tehran celebrating the Iranian revolution and taking of the American Embassy almost 40 years ago; standard chants for the massive crowds: “Death to Israel” and “Death to America.”

5. Amazon revealed yesterday that it has been regularly selling goods to Iranians such as  books, clothing, kitchen and home accessories, jewelry, office products, toys, electronics, computer software, health and beauty products, pet products and gardening products; this revelation dovetails with the fact that Amazon was one of the main groups in the state of Washington that claimed “injury” from President Trump’s proposed immigration moratorium on seven countries including Iran.

6. Qatar has agreed to build a 25 million dollar “hospital” for Hamas in Gaza; of course, we all know that Hamas builds its command and control headquarters under hospitals.

7. The distance between Hezbollah and the Lebanese Army–which was already almost non-existent–is now non-existent; during the past week Hezbollah fighters and Lebanese Army regulars have been spotted using the same equipment on the border with Israel.

8. Speaking of Hezbollah, the group finds itself in the middle of a financial crunch caused by its activities in Syria and reduced funds from Iran. So, the terrorist group has begun an “adopt a soldier campaign” in Lebanon; here is one of the campaign posters–complete with telephone numbers you can call to adopt a terrorist:adopt a soldier

9. At the U.N. yesterday, something unheard in the last eight years; U.S. Ambassador Nikki Haley:  “The United States was disappointed to see the letter indicating an intention to appoint the former Prime Minister of the Palestinian UN envoy to Libya. For a long time the United Nations has been unfairly biased in favor of the Palestinian Authority and to the detriment of our partner Israel. Currently the United States does not recognize a Palestinian state . . .”

10. Egypt made two announcements yesterday: first, it is opening the Rafah Crossing into and out of Gaza for three days; second, it has killed 500 terrorists and destroyed 130 vehicles in its two-week campaign against Islamic State in the Sinai.

 

 

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